Sunday, June 10, 2012


For the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour I'm glad to host a guest post from author Ian Woodhead.

Summer of Zombie

Ian Woodhead

As you’re reading this zombie blog, I’m guessing that you’re as geeky as I am. Unless, your idea of a great time would be to take down as many of those undead fuckers as possible, rescue the screaming blonde, load up the back of the pick-up with a crate of Kentucky Bourbon and get back to the fortified shelter to sharpen that machete.
 You are?
Oh, in that case, you go dig out that whetstone and move along.
Agent Smith told Morpheus that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world, where none suffered and everyone was happy. Apparently, it was a disaster. Our agent then told him that as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering.
Our primitive cerebrums just aren’t wired to enjoy what life we’ve been given.
So, did our digital psycho just have a huge microchip on his shoulder or was it a case of fantasy imitating reality?
The facts tell me that we should be happy. Most of us have a fantastic life compared to say, a couple of generations ago. We are living longer, healthier and certainly more comfortable.
Now, go switch on the news, pick up a paper. What’s the ratio between joyous announcements to bad news?
We’re not on this planet for long, should we not embrace life instead of obsessing about death? Are we obsessed? Oh, I think so. Not just our own end but the whole shebang, because seeing our own threads cut just isn’t good enough for our primitive cerebrums.
Let’s go the full route and think about the Apocalypse, about Armageddon!
End of the world scenarios have been with us since the dawn of civilisation, from Ancient Sumer who prophesied that a planet called Nibiru is going to smash into our world in a few months time. (apparently) To the biblical book of revelation.
Let’s be honest here, our ancestors did have a shitty time, I mean no iphones, no Facebook, no Nandos or dial a take –out. No wonder they wanted to end it all1
So what’s our excuse then? I mean, we’re still obsessed, but now we come up with some cracking new methods of annihilating our species. You can keep your biblical fire and brimstone and world spanning floods and earthquakes, they are SO yesterday!
Even nuclear destruction has fallen by the wayside.
Let’s go back, for a moment to our agent Smith. Now this nutjob wouldn’t have even existed if it wasn’t for the concept of Digital Singularity.. Now, this is a beautiful theory. The bones of the idea is that our machines will someday become so advanced that they’ll be able to think for themselves, become self aware. They’ll eradicate hunger, cure all disease and halt war.
Yeah right.
Our primitive cerebrums are wired the wrong way, remember? So if this did ever happen, the machine would (Of course) turn against us, kick our arses and turn us all into a bunch of Duracell batteries. Ever that or they build a shitload of killer robots and send them back into the past looking for Sarah Conner.
Still obsessing about the dead coming back to life to feast on the living?

I’ll see your Zombie Armageddon and raise you a Digital Singularity.

Ian Woodhead is the author of several horror books including four zombie stories.

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All six of us - Todd Brown, Mark Tufo, Ian Woodhead, Armand Rosamilia, John O'Brien and Dave Jeffery - hope you'll keep following us on the Summer of Zombie blog tour, and comment as we go along.

And… one lucky commenter for each blog will receive a Free eBook or Print book from one of the authors! Simply leave a comment with your e-mail address and we'll pick a random winner each day! Simple as that!

1 comment:

  1. It all started for me, watching Chilly Billy late night in Pittsburgh and then Finding the reel to reel of Night Of The Living Dead in my local library and hosting a senior high school film night in my Grandfather's basement. Primitive yes...but it didn't stop there, my love for the small, unknown zombie genre meshed with my love for Horror. I grew up and the genre grew LARGE, shambling out to the masses...ahhhhhh it does not get any better than that:)